Monday, September 10, 2007

Dapper Dogs

There is something seriously wrong with this picture. Yes, the brown dress is perfect for the dog's "complexion", and the fit is enviable. But it's a freaking dress! Dogs should not wear dresses or pants or hats or whatever. It's demeaning, and probably pretty darn hot--after all, most of them do come with their own fur coats.

What is it with people who humanize their pets? I've a theory: Our pets tolerate us. They'd have a far better time running with a pack of their canine friends, or hanging out at night with their feline mates. Sure, life might be tougher without their personal chefs, but pets would be perfectly happy to do without. Animals are intuitive--they realize how much we depend on them, so they stick with us out of pity. Now, don't say I didn't warn you--you're pushing their patience to the limit if you put clothes on them.

There's big business in pet accessories, clothes and specialty foods. Here are more useless items:

Actual dog treats. Let's face it, dogs will eat poop if given the chance--they don't care what their treats look like.

The Doggone Thong. A gas-neutralizing pad for, you know, your dog's flatulence proplems. I can't believe this product is for real, but if it is, you'll be happy to know that the thong is washable and reusable.

Next on my hit list--useless cat products.


NuclearToast said...

The thing that amazes me is all the costumes that Japanese have for their pets... to make them look like turtles or frogs or whatever. It's like pet crossdressing!

Lynn Sinclair said...

Yeah, nucleartoast, gives me a whole new meaning for pet peeve.

Brenda said...

Oh my gosh! That thong is hilarious! And . . . why do dogs eat their poop anyway?

Lynn Sinclair said...

I don't know why dogs eat poop, Brenda. I'm sure we could find the answer somewhere, but I'm not sure I really want to know.

Perhaps it's how dogs communicate. You know, Fido ambles down the street, sees a steaming, brown mass on the grass and says, "Oh, there's a message from Spot. I wonder what he had for dinner?"

Devon Ellington said...

I'm not big on dressing the pets, but , in light of the problems with processed pet food, I'm moving in the direction of creating their own food (vet supervised).

Can't wait to see what you come up with for cats -- dogs are much more easygoing with their owners when it comes to that type of things than cats, in my experience.

Lynn Sinclair said...

Yes, Devon, I think the search for stupid cat products will be a lengthy one.

Sounds like making your dog's food will be time-consuming, but very well worth it.

Carolyn Burns Bass said...

Personally, I think there should be a law against adults dressing up their dogs and going trick-or-treating. After all, dogs can't have chocolate, so who is going to eat all those Hershey bars?

Lynn Sinclair said...

After all, dogs can't have chocolate, so who is going to eat all those Hershey bars?

Gee, I don't know, Carolyn. I guess if I had a dog, I'd just have to eat all the chocolate myself. Damn, the things we do for our pets.

Amber said...

I completely agree with you on the dog clothes issue. However, let me lend you my 14 year old flatulent cocker spaniel--I think you'll look at the Doggone Thong in a different light.

Lynn Sinclair said...

Okay, okay, Amber, I'll accept the need for the thong-thingee. I remember when my cat was a kitten, she had a tremendous flatulence problem. Hmmm ... I wonder if those things come in various sizes?

Daisy said...

I like the Yorkie i used to have one but now i have a chiawia i cant spell the names but they are the smallest in the world!

Lynn Sinclair said...

Chihuahua is a tough one to spell (I had to look it up). My grandmother used to have one -- very cute.

Anonymous said...

Some eat their poop to gain the minerals left in it.

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