Dog Names: The Cultural Differences

I've never given much thought to naming my pets--the names just seem to come out then stick. I've had cats named Strider (yeah, I'm an LOTR fan) and Chowder. For years, my daughter said, "When we get another cat, I'm going to name it [insert weird name here]", but she decided on Meeko when the time finally came.

When I was growing up, we had dogs named Melody and Tammy (a samoyed, similar to the dog in the pic). I've no idea if those two names were ever popular, but they don't come close to making today's list. Here are the top ten dog names in the US and UK. Searched for a Canadian list, but to no avail:

United States

Max
Bailey
Buddy
Molly
Maggie
Lucy
Daisy
Bella
Jake
Rocky

United Kingdom

Max
Ben
Buster
Tyson
Lady
Jack
Sam
Charlie
Molly
Tara

When it comes to naming pets, it appears most of us aren't all that original. Both lists feature strong male names and feminine female names. There are Maxs and Mollys on both sides of the pond, and the only difference I can see is that there are more male dogs in the UK than in the US. And despite its popularity, I've never met a dog named Rocky.

Cat Trivia

I remember when my daughter first started feeding herself--what a mess. By the time she was finished eating spaghetti, the floor looked like it was covered in red shag. But honestly, she had nothing on my cat. Meeko lifts the food from her bowl, and eats from the floor. Sometimes, she even carries food into the family room--sort of like T.V. dinner for cats.

Although I'm sure Meeko gets a big kick out of watching me clean it up, I figured there must be other reasons for her behaviour. I've checked the Internet, and this is what I came up with:

Cats don't like their whiskers to touch the sides of a bowl.

I'll start giving her food in a larger dish, and report back. In my search for answers to this and other deep questions, I discovered that there's lots of weird and wonderful things about cats:

A cat doesn't meow at another cat.

I know this was true of my cat, Chowder. She saved that sound just for me--at 4:00 in the morning, when she was hungry and I was sleeping. I feel very special.

25% of cat owners blow dry their cat after a bath.

As amazed as I am by this fact, I'm more amazed that people even attempt giving their cat a bath. I tried this once, and discovered it would be far safer to fling myself into a pack of hungry lions.

A cat that bites you after you have rubbed his stomach, is probably biting out of pleasure, not anger.

This is good news--my cat must be deliriously happy.

To determine if your cat's collar fits properly, make sure you can slip two fingers under the collar, between the collar and your cat's neck.

I have a confession to make: I always check the collars of other people's cats. If I feel they're too tight, I loosen them when no one is looking. I feel a bit like a guardian angel, though if I was caught in the act, I'm sure the owners wouldn't agree.

More Than A Lap Warmer

I've always been fascinated by tales of pets saving families from impending doom, so when fellow Backspace member, Sandra Kring related this story, I asked if I could include it on my blog. Since I could never do the story justice, she kindly permitted me to copy it here. Take it away, Sandra:


I had a dog for years. Well, my son was supposed to have a dog, but considering that the poor thing would have starved to death had he stayed glued to that master, he decided that I would be his master instead. He was a HUGE golden, 145 lbs, and lazy as the day is long. My son clocked him once—he stood for seventeen whole seconds.

The dog never barked when inside. If he wanted something, he’d whine (mildly), and if he REALLY wanted something, he’d rock (slightly) from side to side while he whined. Mute inside or not, it's not like you can ignore the fact that you have a 145 lb appendage stuck to your side. When I'm writing and have to get up, I make tracks! Not easily done, when you have to wait for a fat pumpkin to roll out of your way first. I bought him a bed in the hopes that he’d keep to his own side of the room, but sooner or later (usually sooner) he’d lumber out of it and flop down at my side. I can’t count the times I landed on the floor because I hadn’t heard him join me, and I tripped over him when I got up quickly. The dog was so quiet that he could even vomit without making noise. He barfed up a whole squirrel at my feet once, without a peep. Unfortunately, I leaned down low to see what it was, since my eyes hadn’t yet adjusted from the brightness of my monitor, to the dimness of the room. Man!

Pesky or not, that dog saved my life. Literally! I was feverishly writing the first book I’d sell, and I had tunnel vision. I sent everyone off on their merry way to work and school, and dug into my story. After a couple of hours, Buppa started whining. He’d already had his breakfast and his morning bark-fest outside, so I told him to go lie down. Up and down he went, in my room, out of my room, staring at me, whining, rocking, and finally, barking. I got up then and followed him. He moved like a bowling ball tossed by The Hulk to the other end of the house, barking at the smoke that was rolling out from under the basement door. I let the dog outside, called the fire department, and then hurried to my room to gather my writing.

The firemen got the fire out before the whole house went up, and other than smoke damage that required all new curtains and fresh paint, and melted pipes that needed to be replaced, all was well. Seriously, as oblivious as I am when writing, that whole house would have gone up in flames and I wouldn’t have noticed until the smoke got too thick for me to see my monitor.

Buppa died two springs ago at the ripe old age of sixteen—so much for obesity and inactivity causing early deaths! He was a pest, but I miss that fat, rocking pumpkin.

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Sandra, thanks for sharing your wonderful memories of Buppa (pictured above). He was truly a heroic pumpkin. Stories like Sandra's prove that pets are much more than simple lap warmers and eating machines. In the news:


Earlier this year, a 14 year old Indiana cat awakened the family when carbon monoxide leaked into the home.

In August, a family dog protected four children after a bear wandered into their Vancouver yard.

Just today, my cat chased off a rather large and scary grasshopper.


We see lots of "Dog Saves Owner" headlines, but there are "Owner Saves Dog" stories too. In Hong Kong, Catherine Leonard rescued her dog from becoming a 15 foot python's main squeeze. Catherine doesn't recall exactly what she did to free her beloved pet, but once the adrenalin kicked in, nothing was going to stop her.

I'd like to believe that our pets are similarily motivated, but who knows? When pets smell poisonous gas, they might just be thinking, "Holy crap, I'd better wake up the hairless, two-legged being, or I'm gonna die!"


Next time your at the bookstore, be sure to look for Sandra's books The Book of Bright Ideas and Carry Me Home: A Novel

Cats, Costumes and Claws

In my Dapper Dogs post, Devon implied in her comment that it might be difficult to find any stupid cat products. She was absolutely right. I've come to the conclusion that cats have far too much common sense, but that doesn't mean humans share that trait:

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A boon for lazy cat owners. I mean, who really enjoys cleaning out the kitty litter? But do cats wipe the seat and flush once they're done?

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This poor guy must've been tripped out on cat nip when he allowed his owners to dress him up for Halloween.

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This is a waste of money because...

...cats will sleep wherever the hell they want.

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These are called Soft Paws and fit over a cat's claws. I've no idea how hygenic they are, or how practical, but I'll bet they're near impossible to put on. So unless you're willing to walk around with bloody ribbons hanging from your shoulders instead of arms, I'd steer clear of these.

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Go back and take another look at that costumed cat. Its owners should be pelted with cat treats, and forced to clean kitty litters for a week. Man, we're lucky cats put up with us at all.

Making Tracks

Spending time up north with my brother-in-law, Steve, is like having one's own personal nature guide. He points out animal tracks and (I assume) correctly identifies them. He can recognize a hawk when it's a mere speck in the sky. He can even distinguish raccoon poop from skunk poop. When I'm with Steve, I feel closer to nature. It makes me realize that I've lived in the city too long, and have probably missed out on some very neat stuff.

Which brings me to a childhood fantasy I had. I wanted to be like Disney's Snow White, not because I'm especially into dwarves, but because I wanted all the woodland creatures to be fearless of me. I wanted birds to land on my shoulder and sing in my ear, and bunnies to rest at my feet. I believed that if animals loved you, then you must be a nice person.

I no longer have that fantasy, well, not very often. I suppose I'll have to settle for a domesticated cat who occasionally comes when I call.

Anyway, back to animal tracks. Can you identify the one in the picture?


Image courtesy of OpenCage

What I'll Go Through For My Cat

The dried food I buy for my cat is called Performatrin Ultra: Slim Care Formula. It's great stuff (my cat told me so). I recommended it to my parents for their overweight, grouchy as hell cat. Within weeks, not only had their cat regained her girlish figure, she positively purred (Note: they had been using a vet-recommended brand).

As I said, it's great stuff. Unfortunately, in my area, Performatrin can be purchased at only one store. The employees are friendly and knowledgeable, and the store is well-stocked, but I dread going there to buy the food.

Why? Because they have caged kittens and cats up for adoption--right there, at the front of the store. There's no way I can avoid their furry paws reaching through the mesh, nor can I resist their sad eyes and pitiful meows (it's a wonder I don't come home with a package of food under one arm and a cat under the other).

Anyway, tonight I noticed that I only had a bit of Performatrin left. I've thought about asking my husband to go to the store for me, but he'd probably look at me like I'd lost the final bolt that was holding my mind together.

Wish me luck--I'm going back to the store tomorrow.

Click here for more information about this great cat food (would my cat lie to you?)

Mid-Air Collisions

Eons ago, when I worked in Toronto, I passed the Exchange Tower each morning on my mad dash from the train. One day, I spotted an injured bird on the ground, beside the Tower's massive windows.

What a beauty it was--long beak and smooth, brown plumage. Its black eyes were open, and I wanted so much to pick up the bird and comfort it (of course, that would probably have stressed it even more). Suddenly, getting to work on time was no longer important. I assumed the bird had hit the window, so I waited, hoping it had only been stunned. But the poor thing never recovered.

At work, the image of the bird haunted me. By the afternoon, I decided to contact the Tower's management. This was in the days before PC's and email, so I typed up a letter and mailed it off.

Within a month, I received a reply. They'd looked into the problem, and had been advised by the Ontario Science Centre to put dark silhouettes of hawks on the windows--the birds would steer clear of the presumed predator.

For years afterward, it gave me a great deal of satisfaction whenever I happened to look up at the hawk silhouettes. I don't know how many birds may have been saved, but I felt my letter had made a difference.

And I believe we can all make a difference--no matter how small.


Thanks to Eartheasy for the hawk silhouette. To learn about environmentally sustainable living, visit Greg Seaman's helpful website: Eartheasy

You Can't Do That: Strange Animal Laws

You've got to wonder what prompted lawmakers to come up with these gems:


It is illegal to...


...herd more than 2000 sheep down Hollywood Blvd. at one time.

(Must've been passed after disaster struck during the filming of a Mel Brooks movie)


...allow cats to run loose without a tail light.

(Might be easier just to keep your cat indoors)


...take a lion to the movies in Baltimore.

(I suppose they came up with this one after MGM's early attempts at reality TV backfired)


...to give lighted cigars to pets in Zion, Illinois

(I completely agree--not only is smoking bad for 'em, pets are hopeless when it comes to using ashtrays)


...to educate dogs in Hartford.

(Makes sense--most of them are smarter than us already)


...to give alcohol to a moose in Fairbanks.

(Takes the sport out of hunting them, I suppose. Sigh)


...for a farmer to sleep with his livestock in Clawson, Michigan.

(No comment)


...for cats and dogs to have sex without a permit in Ventura, California.

(Perhaps it's lawmakers who should require a permit)

Dapper Dogs

There is something seriously wrong with this picture. Yes, the brown dress is perfect for the dog's "complexion", and the fit is enviable. But it's a freaking dress! Dogs should not wear dresses or pants or hats or whatever. It's demeaning, and probably pretty darn hot--after all, most of them do come with their own fur coats.

What is it with people who humanize their pets? I've a theory: Our pets tolerate us. They'd have a far better time running with a pack of their canine friends, or hanging out at night with their feline mates. Sure, life might be tougher without their personal chefs, but pets would be perfectly happy to do without. Animals are intuitive--they realize how much we depend on them, so they stick with us out of pity. Now, don't say I didn't warn you--you're pushing their patience to the limit if you put clothes on them.

There's big business in pet accessories, clothes and specialty foods. Here are more useless items:



Actual dog treats. Let's face it, dogs will eat poop if given the chance--they don't care what their treats look like.



The Doggone Thong. A gas-neutralizing pad for, you know, your dog's flatulence proplems. I can't believe this product is for real, but if it is, you'll be happy to know that the thong is washable and reusable.

Next on my hit list--useless cat products.

And Now for Something Completely Different

I'd be remiss if I didn't post something about Backspace's amazing Agent - Author seminar, taking place in New York on November 6 and 7. With only agents on the program, the seminars are a terrific opportunity to network, ask questions, talk about your work, and listen and learn from the people who make their living selling books.

I've attended three Backspace conferences, and If I had something at the agent search stage, I'd be at this seminar in a flash!

Check it out:

Backspace Agent-Author Seminar 2007

And if you aren't already a Backspace member, what are you waiting for? Joining this online community of writers might be the best thing you can do for your writing career--not to mention your sanity:

Join Backspace Now

Going, Going, Gone

I watched Nature on PBS this week. The "Life in Death Valley" series highlights the plight of the Devil's Hole Pupfish--a fish that exists nowhere else and has survived in isolation for over 25,000 years. Until recently that is. Now, there's only about 125 of the little guys left. For more information: Life in Death Valley: Little Fish, Big Splash

This got me wondering about the many animals that are on the brink of extinction (never mind the ones that have already fallen over the edge). A large number of these are kept in the relative safety of zoos, but their living-in-the-wild brethren aren't faring too well:

2000 Giant Panda (Asia)
1650 Peregrin Falcon (North America)
1400 Hawaiian Monk Seal (Central Pacific)
700 Black-footed Ferrets (N.A.)
650 Mountain Gorilla (East Africa)
300 Cook Inlet Beluga Whale (Alaska)
200 Riverine Rabbit (South Africa)
100 Florida Panther (N.A.)
100 Red Wolf (N.A.)
100 Pink Dolphin (Taiwan)

And there's only 10-20 million black-tailed prairie dogs left. Yeah, I know, that sounds like a lot, but consider that their numbers have decreased by 95% in the last century.

Human encroachment, pollution, disease, commercial hunting/fishing, poaching--there's a long list of reasons why the world's wildlife are disappearing. The fact that we're responsible for the declining numbers is rather obvious.

I'll leave you with these fitting quotes:

"What is man without the beasts? If all the beasts were gone, man would die from a great loneliness of spirit. For whatever happens to the beasts, soon happens to man. All things are connected."

Chief Seattle, Leader of the Suquamish and Duwamish Native American tribes

"Mankind's true moral test, its fundamental test (which lies deeply buried from view), consists of its attitude towards those who are at its mercy: animals. And in this respect mankind has suffered a fundamental debacle, a debacle so fundamental that all others stem from it."

Milan Kundera, Czech Author, Critic

Stop Calling Me!

About twice each year, I get the same phone call. The conversation goes something like this:

"We want to thank you for your ongoing support of the Shrine Circus, and hope you'd once again purchase tickets--"

"I've never bought tickets," I say. "Does the circus have any performing animals?"

"Of course."

"I don't believe in forcing animals to do crazy stunts for my entertainment."

"Perhaps you'd like to sponsor a child to attend?"

"Uh, no. How do I get my name off your list?"

"You'd have to talk to my supervisor."


I can't be bothered. This isn't a rant against the Shriners--they do excellent work--but I've never purchased tickets, so why do they keep calling me? The bigger questions are, why do circuses continue to use the animals, and why do people support the spectacle? It's selfish and cruel. Damned circus freaks.

And those marine parks with the whales and dolphins?

Oh, don't get me started.



Thanks to The Captive Animals' Protection Society (CAPS) for the use of their poster image. Check out their website: CAPS Website